Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Traits of a Guitar Widow

I noticed that Anna at Life of a musician - Robin Hill discovered I linked to her. I recognized she was a "Guitar Widow" immediately when I found her through this post. Her support for her husband and her love for him shines through her posts immediately. One example is when her husband was traveling during her birthday. Anna understood and supported that he was away playing his passion. She felt that if his music was put in to play - it would be as if he was there.

I began to think - "What are the traits of a Guitar Widow?" It isn't what you would think. Some musicians think they are the wives and girlfriends that ruin all the fun. They control the equipment purchases, whine when you are playing, and never come to a gig. Some feel they are the women who ask that you sell your equipment so they can get the bigger house or the new car to keep up with the Jones. They roll their eyes when you want some time to yourself to play and record. Often you can hear them say, "I don't know why you continue to think you will make it! Give it up, it will never happen." If this is your wife or girlfriend, I can assure you - you aren't married/dating a Guitar Widow.

Guitar Widows recognize the love and passion you have for your music. They understand that your guitar requires your time, money and love. It really is like living with another person in the house. If you do not play the guitar you feel withdrawal. A Guitar Widow knows this and will accommodate you.

Guitar Widows do not roll their eyes when you practice. They try to keep the home quite while you record, and provide constructive criticism when asked on your latest composition. They struggle with the noise, but understand the importance of your practice. At 10pm when you are playing, they tell you to consider the neighbors, and ask you to come to bed. At 1am, they march in disrupting your muse with the question, "Are you going to get some sleep?"

Guitar Widows go to your gigs regularly, help haul your equipment, and know when to back away so you can focus for your show. They are the ones that sit in the audience and start the clapping after songs. When the gig is over with, they help you load your equipment and drive you home. In the morning because you are tired, they make your lunch for the next day and put your coffee on so when you sleep in late - it is ready for you.

A Guitar Widow's life revolve around yours more than your life revolves around hers. They are accustomed to getting a phone call stating, "I have a rehearsal/show tonight" or "I am going out of town the weekend of XXX to play a show" They adjust their schedule to have to spend more time with you, or rearranges dinner so your stomach is full before you play.

A Guitar Widow is not perfect - at least to you. They don't want a drum set in the living room with guitars hanging on the wall, but they will compromise for a music room. They want the bills paid and money saved for the future instead of musical equipment. They work with you on a budgeting system so money is there for your equipment desires.

Guitar Widows know that you get hit on at the shows they cannot attend. They are well aware that the other fish in the sea are really sharks trying to take you away from them. It is the above traits that keep you coming back. The temptation placed in front of you seems minuscule compared to the home you have with her.

Where can you find your Guitar Widow? I can assure you she is not the bar fly at your gig asking you, "Can you play a woman the way you play your guitar?" She is also not the one posting near nude pictures of herself to your myspace comments. Your Guitar Widow may be the girl next door who says nice things about your playing. Perhaps she is in your audience dressed modestly asking you to sign your newly released CD. Maybe your Guitar Widow is right under your nose at work or church requesting to hear that new song you have been talking about.

I would not say that we are heroes. Renee Kline is a hero, (picture here). Wives of our soldiers, policemen and fireman are heroes. They send their husbands out everyday sometimes for months not knowing if they will return. Guitar Widows are supporters. We are the women behind the talented man who start the clapping after his song is finished.